Why Boarding School?
As a teenager, I was dying to go to boarding school. It was some combination of seeing the beautiful campus in Dead Poets’ Society (St. Andrew’s in Delaware), visiting another extraordinary campus, Cranbrook School in Michigan for field hockey games, and seeking independence and something new. But my mom said no and that was that. As a parent, I understand wanting to keep my children close, but every time I visit a boarding school , I’m reminded of what initially lit up my 13-year-old eyes. Based on my first teaching job was at a Connecticut boarding school (Miss Porter’s in Connecticut), and my experience helping families find boarding schools, I’ll share a little of what a boarding school can offer a student.
An amazing campus and facilities where all of your friends, teachers, and activities are in one place—and just a short walk away. This can be an extraordinary gift if your child spends over an hour a day in the car driving to school, practices, or activities. At a boarding school, a student wakes up on campus and soccer practice may be a five-ten minute walk from their dorm. The facilities of many boarding schools rival those of a small college. A student’s friends, teachers, coaches are all nearby, fostering deep and close friendships. As an added plus, help on trigonometry homework is always easy to find.
An opportunity to build independence and self-reliance. In a world where we hear a lot about helicopter-, snowplow-, and other types of over-involved parents, boarding school forces a parent to let go and give a child the space to make their own decisions and live their own life. This can be a life-changing gift to a thirteen or fourteen-year-old ready to make this leap. Boarding schools generally often offer a lot of structure in the beginning to help students manage their time. By the time they graduate, students emerge equipped to take on the demands and opportunities of college
The teachers are the most devoted you will find anywhere. Having known many boarding school teachers, I can attest to the commitment and devotion of boarding school teachers. They generally teach, coach, direct plays, or advise other activities, and live in a dorm. Students will see them at breakfast, in class, lunch, on the field, at dinner, in study hall, and at the dance. This creates accountability with the kinds of adults you want in your child’s life.
The offer of a truly diverse community (geographic, racial, ethnic, socio-economic). Many boarding schools bring together a far more diverse community than most private day or public schools could ever achieve. Students may come from all over the US and the world, exposing everyone in the community to more perspectives and opinions than they could ever encounter at home. While the stereotype is that boarding schools are exclusive enclaves for wealthy students, because many boarding schools are among the country’s best-endowed institutions, they can afford to offer financial assistance at higher rates than local schools. Students come from a wide range of socio-economic backgrounds.
Boarding school may not be as expensive as you think. Let’s just begin by acknowledging that private school tuition is extremely expensive, period. But don’t let sticker shock deter you from exploring the option. Boarding schools also often have robust financial aid budgets. So, while tuition at Brooks School in Massachusetts is $77K for the 2024-25 year, 35% of students received financial assistance. (At Interlochen Arts Academy, in Michigan, tuition is $76K and 81% of students receive financial assistance!) You may also find that boarding school is actually more affordable for your family than the school down the street. If you subtract the cost of club sports, local transportation, and food, the cost of a boarding school could be less than the local schools.
Exposure to a wealth of opportunities. Boarding schools are often highly resourced schools that can offer facilities, activities, speakers, and trips that surpass anything you can find at your local school. For example, it’s not just the range of sports offered but how many teams are offered (varsity, JV, thirds). Students are kept busy because it's typically a requirement (no one wants 400 bored teenagers looking for something to do in the afternoon!) and because so many rich opportunities abound.
As a parent you get to outsource tedious nagging and focus on the most important things when you talk to your child. Over the years many parents with children at boarding schools have told me that they actually became closer to their child when their child went away because they were no longer the person reminding them to clean up their room, get to bed, or empty the dishwasher. Instead, someone else is having those conversations, so you can dig into what your child discussed in English class or what they’re looking forward to on Saturday night. Need I say more?
If you are in the Bay Area and want to learn more about boarding schools, check out the Town Boarding School Fair on Sunday, May 5, at Town School for Boys in San Francisco. Beginning a boarding school search can feel daunting because there are so many options. You can start by exploring what’s out there and then you may want to narrow geographically, by size, or programs in which your child is interested. I’m always happy to talk further about boarding schools with you or help you put together a list for your child.
